Category: Musings

The one with the Longest Pending Meeting

The One With The Longest Pending Meeting

Lancelot Quadras 35 Comments

Longest Pending meeting is one of the most epic Friendship stories ever!

Overall:

I like my life.

I’ve seen a fair share of moments; both good and small.

I enjoy the little moments and little things that people do for me.

It gives me joy and happiness knowing that somewhere, I’m loved.

 

2018 (January to August):

But that’s not how this year began for me in 2018.

2018 began with a bang for me when I left my job in the field of finance after 3 long years for good. Content writing was my calling and I was going to pursue it. (Copy that!)

Then after 1 month of being jobless, I got the luxury of going for a family trip abroad with my parents. That was one priceless month.

Post the trip there were 3 months of joblessness with my parents worried for me, friends looking to endorse and suggest my name for interviews.

Getting a good night’s sleep was not at all available. I still went through that sleepless and tension phase which never let me sleep in peace.

At the end of May, I got my first break in content writing. Ever since then I’ve been happy. I keep writing, go home on time and smile more often for the past 3 months.

September:

September began too with a bang!

One of my oldest school friends surprised us by flying down from the USA for his brother’s engagement.

I was the first one to know and one by one, everyone was given a separate surprise. This was the first time in 2.5 years that we all were together in one city.

This image was clicked during the engagement party and I must tell you that the moment here is priceless and I’m going to cherish it for a very long time!

Longest pending meeting between friends

With this, I request you to share a moment in this year which was the best so far post the longest pending meeting.

Let’s share the happiness with all!

I am taking my Alexa rank to the next level with Blogchatter. Do follow the hashtag #WritingsByLancelot and #ReadWithLancelot to be part of my journey.

Follow my food journey on Zomato and Instagram

Here are my past posts for the A to Z Challenge

Don't Do It

Just Because you Can…. Don’t Do It!

Lancelot Quadras 36 Comments

Don’t do it! An ode to a dream that opened my eyes!

On this Sunday morning, I woke up to a dream where I did something which was surprising. I don’t remember the backdrop or even the people in it. All I remember is fighting with one of my friends. There are some people in the background whose faces I fail to recollect now.

We are arguing over something very petty but things get heated. While fighting he reminds me of something bad I did earlier. That hurts! I too can do the same and dig up some dirt of his past and put it up on display in front of everyone. But I don’t.

Why did I not do that?

This is the thought I woke up to. There are so many ways I could have humiliated him. There were so many things I could have told to make him shut his mouth and sulk in one corner. There was a lot I could do. But I didn’t. There is just one answer to it. The answer is “I chose to look at the argument more than my anger“.

Yes, my near and dear ones know that I get angry very quickly. The slightest hint of conflict makes me uncomfortable. I don’t think positively and things don’t go right. But recently I’ve begun doing a simple task… “Listening”. I realized that if I don’t do it, then it’s time to listen.

Yes, please try this. 95% of your conflicts and anger issues and even over thinking ends the minute you begin to listen. There are so many moments where just because I waited patiently and listened, everything fell into place without any negativity.

What is this “Listening”?

The listening here is to understand the situation and then find the solution. You don’t have to find something hurtful to say back always. Just because you know you can;

  • Win the argument
  • You have the gun
  • You have the ace in the pack

That doesn’t mean you need to use it. Don’t do it! Sometimes being silent and thinking calmly can avoid a catastrophe. Now mind you, I’m not talking about every situation. The situation here is about a normal or petty argument that elevates to a heated argument. Usually, it can end well when at least one party thinks calmly. If not, then just because of a petty argument turning wild, relationships crack, friendships break and you become a wreck on a wreck.

There are a few people I adore in my life during my college years. When in an argument I spoke some hurtful things, they kept silent until I was done barking. Once I turned silent, they’d explain themselves. It made sense to me and I’d apologize to them. Then I would feel shitty about how I treated them.

In some ways, I have tried to be a better person since them and always think about the other person and their situation before drawing a conclusion. It’s a work in progress but I’m sure to be a better person someday!

I am taking my Alexa rank to the next level with Blogchatter. Do follow the hashtag #WritingsByLancelot and #ReadWithLancelot to be part of my journey.

Follow my food journey on Zomato and Instagram

Here are my past posts for the A to Z Challenge

Coronavirus lockdown - Finding balance in these tough times

25 to 30 – The Age of Never Ending Tension or “Woh Haseen Dard” in Coronavirus

Lancelot Quadras 186 Comments

BEING 29 gives me perspective about Life in a term I’d define as “Haseen Dard“!

Especially when Coronavirus has wreaked havoc and has now caused all of us to be locked-down in our very own houses!

For those who don’t know about me, I’m Lancelot Quadras. 29. An MBA in Finance. I worked for 3 years in the accounts team. I left that job for a fresh start in something I like i.e. Content writing.  I sleep well nowadays without worrying. I have a few friends whom I care for and more than half of them are convinced I’m going to hell. Yes, the irony there is alarming. I like to read, write, watch tv shows, try new cuisines, and a believer in the little moments that give meaning to life.

So why do I write about this Coronavirus styled “Haseen Dard” today?

It’s been 1 month since I’ve been either reading stories online on mental health, tension, depression, anxiety, stress, a suicide a lot. The concept of “mental health” has been on the rise recently. Recently, on day 3 of the Mother Mary Novena, I heard the priest who in his sermon again mentioned the stress level which impacts our fragile mind and body very badly. It’s like our mind keeps screaming “Wo Haseen Dard De Do”.

His story about a youth who crumbles under pressure brought me to realize one thing; Tension is everywhere. There is no specific date or time. But if there was, I would term the age group of 25-30 as the highest.

Here, we are;

  1. Working towards increasing our salary
  2. Looking for better career options side by side
  3. Not being able to give time to things we like, family and friends
  4. Regretting that we are missing out on so much.
  5. Losing friends quickly.
  6. Losing interest in things we like because we have no time.
  7. Planning for the future as our parents cannot work forever.
  8. Planning for a new house before getting married.
  9. Oh yes, finding a suitable partner.
  10. Probably finding love too!

These are just the first 10 thoughts that popped on my mind. I respect those who prioritize well and manage a balance between their work life and personal life. I try my best to give time to the people I care for. But there are just 24 hours in a day and sometimes I really become selfish and slump on the couch and rest. It’s a guilty pleasure but I also believe in “Me Time”. It’s like I’m screaming “Woh Haseen Dard De Do”.

Funnily there’s a song too titled ‘Woh Haseen Dard De Do’ lyrics that speak so much about the pain we inflict on ourselves. 

What did I learn during this Coronavirus Lockdown period?

  1. There is no time for waiting. If there’s an opportunity, then make a decision. It’s either a yes or a no. Don’t just let it pass so that you can regret it for the rest of your life.
  2. Not even google can help you when you type “how to be happy”. Only you can. The only behavior you can control is your own. Prioritize your relationships, give time to those you care about, and lastly…Love yourself. 
  3. Stop looking at love quotes and dreaming about him/her. Don’t just use the love calculator and blush all day. No one has time. If you really like someone, grow some courage, walk up to them and let them know what you feel. Trust me, there is no worse regret than the ones where we didn’t speak our hearts out.

So far, this is what I’ve learned during the Coronavirus lockdown and I know there’s a lot more left to learn. Until then, please do comment on what was the stage where you were just too tensed and how did you come out of it unscathed!

I am taking my Alexa rank to the next level with Blogchatter. Do follow the hashtag #WritingsByLancelot and #ReadWithLancelot to be part of my journey.

Here are my past posts from the A to Z Challenge.

Follow my food journey on Zomato and Instagram

When You Don’t Answer the Call

Lancelot Quadras Leave a comment

How many times has it happened that you call someone and they don’t pick up your call? What if the trend keeps continuing with an average of more than twice a week? Does that become a cause of worry? Do you get insecure?

Let me tell you what I do.

I FREAK OUT! Even if it is for a while, I freak out when my favorite humans don’t return my calls. I have a good patience level in these matters. I understand that everyone is busy and are juggling with priorities. These priorities leave little or no time for them to utilize in a conversation with me. But what I certainly don’t or cannot understand is the fact that why would it take someone more than a week to respond back?

Yes, I can logically and emotionally understand your perspective but not getting even 2 minutes out of an entire week cannot be justified unless something drastic has happened. It is not easy staying positive during this time as the insecurity builds at a rapid place. You are very likely to react in a very bad way and end up arguing with that person. That won’t end well.

I agree you want to vent out your disappointment and anger that they could not even provide you with the basic attention of 2 minutes. You expected something and they could not deliver. That hurts.

What you can do?

Well, for starters, not being angry is the main motto. Not raising your voice is the second. You can let the other person know that you are upset in a very civil tone. I know it takes time. (Believe me when I say this… I could have gotten angry earlier at the drop of a hat).

But please talk to that person whenever they call back. Remember that when you avoid them as a mode of payback, they might not understand. There will be a broken bridge between you two. Also, try thinking from their perspective as well. Give them the benefit of doubt. And finally, if you want to talk to someone or miss them, give them a call. Do not think it makes you look desperate or needy. Do not bring your ego in front. If you miss the person or want to talk to them, you give them a call or drop them a text. It’s totally their decision to answer or delay their response. But if you like them and their company, call them every time.

What gives you strength to reduce anger?

Lancelot Quadras Leave a comment

I had been for the Sunday mass and the priest happened to talk about anger and illness. One line stood out in that sermon; “What gives you strength to reduce the anger?” That’s how a thought lingered on my mind and hence I’m sharing it with you guys.

It’s July 2018. Time is running faster than Usain Bolt ever could. I can just remember thinking about my new year’s resolution like it was just a week ago. Anyway, living in Mumbai, the pace of life is on full acceleration. People are hustling and bustling from north to south just to make ends meet. I have noticed something else that has been accelerating along with our fast paced life. That element is Anger!

Yes, our understanding level has been so fragile lately that everyone around us takes a lot of effort to stay happy but can get angry on the drop of a hat. There can be many reasons and possibilities which can justify this anger. But instead of letting it out in a dignified way, anger has a way of turning you into a savage who is dressed up well and is literate enough to use cuss words in different languages.

Some times when an event takes place, the outcome gives us pain and hurt, we react and the outburst can be civil or not. There is also an event when you just get angry for no reason or for a reason which is not worth being angry about.

How do you tackle that situation?

How do you get out of that negative zone?

What gives you strength to not be angry and think of it in a calm mind?

Let me tell you what I do:

I get angry very quickly. If some event had to take place, I’d think of how to get payback. How I would make them pay and one day they’d wish that I would forgive them. I’d put myself as a hero who is in pain and depict them as villains who have wronged me.

But then, it’s a habit I have always followed. I try thinking from the other’s perspective and also how a third party would react to this. Almost 90% of the times, I come out of my anger phase very quickly. I laugh on the stupid thoughts I had few moments ago. I actually realize that had I gone ahead and given those people a piece of my mind, the relation would develop a crack. I thank the lord and the 1% of good consciousness in me that allowed me to think before jumping.

Here’s what I do in such situations. What do you do in situations like these? What gives you strength to not be angry?