Just Because you Can…. Don’t Do It!

Don’t do it! An ode to a dream that opened my eyes!

On this Sunday morning, I woke up to a dream where I did something which was surprising. I don’t remember the backdrop or even the people in it. All I remember is fighting with one of my friends. There are some people in the background whose faces I fail to recollect now.

We are arguing over something very petty but things get heated. While fighting he reminds me of something bad I did earlier. That hurts! I too can do the same and dig up some dirt of his past and put it up on display in front of everyone. But I don’t.

Why did I not do that?

This is the thought I woke up to. There are so many ways I could have humiliated him. There were so many things I could have told to make him shut his mouth and sulk in one corner. There was a lot I could do. But I didn’t. There is just one answer to it. The answer is “I chose to look at the argument more than my anger“.

Yes, my near and dear ones know that I get angry very quickly. The slightest hint of conflict makes me uncomfortable. I don’t think positively and things don’t go right. But recently I’ve begun doing a simple task… “Listening”. I realized that if I don’t do it, then it’s time to listen.

Yes, please try this. 95% of your conflicts and anger issues and even over thinking ends the minute you begin to listen. There are so many moments where just because I waited patiently and listened, everything fell into place without any negativity.

What is this “Listening”?

The listening here is to understand the situation and then find the solution. You don’t have to find something hurtful to say back always. Just because you know you can;

  • Win the argument
  • You have the gun
  • You have the ace in the pack

That doesn’t mean you need to use it. Don’t do it! Sometimes being silent and thinking calmly can avoid a catastrophe. Now mind you, I’m not talking about every situation. The situation here is about a normal or petty argument that elevates to a heated argument. Usually, it can end well when at least one party thinks calmly. If not, then just because of a petty argument turning wild, relationships crack, friendships break and you become a wreck on a wreck.

There are a few people I adore in my life during my college years. When in an argument I spoke some hurtful things, they kept silent until I was done barking. Once I turned silent, they’d explain themselves. It made sense to me and I’d apologize to them. Then I would feel shitty about how I treated them.

In some ways, I have tried to be a better person since them and always think about the other person and their situation before drawing a conclusion. It’s a work in progress but I’m sure to be a better person someday!

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36 thoughts on “Just Because you Can…. Don’t Do It!”

  1. I read a saying “you have two ears and one mouth , so we need to double our listening than speaking”. I implemented it each time and it has done miracles. Your post will surely ignite this feeling in many.

    MeenalSonal from AuraOfThoughts

    1. Hi Meenal, that’s the best quote I’ve read today and i’m going to use it for sure. I am glad you think this post will work in people’s favor. Thanks for dropping by!

    1. Hey rrohan, Yes indeed it can never happen overnight but we can always try until we get better. Of course we are humans and hence will slip a few times but it’s good to keep trying!

    1. Yes Sejal, we all would benefit the most out of this! Definitely the most. But it’s a learning process and it will take time.

    1. Hi Manpreet, I know that. Listening clearly is important. Sometimes we already have judged the other person before they even make their case. This hurts right?

  2. so true. The fact that you have realised this and acknowledged it is the first step to becoming a better person. I am sure you already are one, though! It takes a lot to make such a public confession.

    1. Hi Tamanna, my mother said once that if you can speak angrily and make a mistake then you better muster the courage to not only admit it but also make it right! I wish to be the man my mother thinks I already am. I’ll try my best to be better!

    1. Hey, thank you so so much. This is the first time someone complimented on my “about me” section. Yayy!
      Also, this is a lesson which I must never stop re reading!

    1. Yes Disha, that indeed is the point. But we don’t end up doing that. We do the opposite and speak hateful words. Hopefully in time, we shall get better!

  3. I completely agree…. acting impulsively out of emotion can be harmful to any relationship and thus it is better to just take a step back when you are feeling overwhelmed with emotion

    1. Exactly. Why I can say this is because I used to be impulsive and speak harsh words. I regret it the moment it’s out of my mouth and hence decided that before I react, it’s best to try and keep a calm mind. Wait and analyze. Getting angry and spreading hatred does no good.

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