I had been for the Sunday mass and the priest happened to talk about anger and illness. One line stood out in that sermon; “What gives you strength to reduce the anger?” That’s how a thought lingered on my mind and hence I’m sharing it with you guys.

It’s July 2018. Time is running faster than Usain Bolt ever could. I can just remember thinking about my new year’s resolution like it was just a week ago. Anyway, living in Mumbai, the pace of life is on full acceleration. People are hustling and bustling from north to south just to make ends meet. I have noticed something else that has been accelerating along with our fast paced life. That element is Anger!

Yes, our understanding level has been so fragile lately that everyone around us takes a lot of effort to stay happy but can get angry on the drop of a hat. There can be many reasons and possibilities which can justify this anger. But instead of letting it out in a dignified way, anger has a way of turning you into a savage who is dressed up well and is literate enough to use cuss words in different languages.

Some times when an event takes place, the outcome gives us pain and hurt, we react and the outburst can be civil or not. There is also an event when you just get angry for no reason or for a reason which is not worth being angry about.

How do you tackle that situation?

How do you get out of that negative zone?

What gives you strength to not be angry and think of it in a calm mind?

Let me tell you what I do:

I get angry very quickly. If some event had to take place, I’d think of how to get payback. How I would make them pay and one day they’d wish that I would forgive them. I’d put myself as a hero who is in pain and depict them as villains who have wronged me.

But then, it’s a habit I have always followed. I try thinking from the other’s perspective and also how a third party would react to this. Almost 90% of the times, I come out of my anger phase very quickly. I laugh on the stupid thoughts I had few moments ago. I actually realize that had I gone ahead and given those people a piece of my mind, the relation would develop a crack. I thank the lord and the 1% of good consciousness in me that allowed me to think before jumping.

Here’s what I do in such situations. What do you do in situations like these? What gives you strength to not be angry?

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How are you? 

I am okay/fine.

This is the most fake conversation you are bound to have many times during your lifetime. Yes, think about it. How many times have you used this phrase without speaking the truth? We are stressed, tired, irritated, angry, disappointed but we will say that we are fine.

 

Why do we lie?

Firstly the main reason for doing this is because we want to dodge the next conversation that will happen the moment we say “I’m not okay/fine”. Also, we don’t like sharing our feeling at that very moment with everyone. That is a right thing to do but it’s a small burden you carry lying around people telling them you are fine when you’re not. The people around you will go around their business and will talk normally. They wouldn’t know the storm brewing inside you. They also wouldn’t be able to figure out that you’re crying from the inside.

 

Why would they?

You just said that you’re fine.

Instead of doing all this, why don’t you start to tell the people around you about what you feel. Yes, you don’t need to tell them exactly what the issue is. Just say the words “I am not okay. It’s something I’m dealing with which I cannot discuss”.

Speaking like this helps. First, the people around you are conscious of the fact that you’re not okay. Hence the way they speak will change. If you have a comfort friend, talk to him/her and get it out of your chest. Keeping the storm inside of you won’t stop anything. It is just a delay. This delay will result into a catastrophe someday!

If you cannot divulge any details, it’s fine.

But don’t lie when asked, “Are you okay?”

Okay?

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Z is for Zealot which means passionate in the pursuit of anything.

The A-Z Challenge comes to an end with the letter Z. For the entirety of this series I chose words from A-Z which were not only unusual and rare but also words which would help make your life  better in every way. Hence it deems fit that I choose the last word Zealot which means to be passionate in whatever you do.

Life without passion is like life without oxygen. At some point you will start suffocating. At that time either you will suffer and die OR you will do something to survive. Hence it’s best to never stop doing what you like. You surely know few who are corporate slaves by morning and are either budding writers/musicians/etc by night. It’s passion that gives life meaning. I know thinking practical is what everyone does. So, let’s think practically but let’s also not forget to keep that kid within you happy. You like reading, writing, singing, dancing, art, weaving etc whatever it is you like, keep doing it. Some say it breathes new air into their body. For some, it’s a part time profession. And finally some take the leap of faith and turn it into their profession.

When it comes to doing any kind of work, do have the passion. It changes you as a person. Household chores also when completed give you a sense of satisfaction when done right. Give it your 100% and the result will warm your heart and bring a smile to your face. Never stop learning. That’s how we evolve and get better in life. There are no shortcuts. Just make sure to keep no barriers on inhibitions while learning something new. Yes, you’ll fail and also make a joke out of yourself but every day you learn, you will definitely get better.

This post is part of the A to Z Challenge 2018.

You can check my posts of this series right from 2015 till date – CLICK HERE

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