How are you?
I am okay/fine.
This is the most fake conversation you are bound to have many times during your lifetime. Yes, think about it. How many times have you used this phrase without speaking the truth? We are stressed, tired, irritated, angry, disappointed but we will say that we are fine.
Why do we lie?
Firstly the main reason for doing this is because we want to dodge the next conversation that will happen the moment we say “I’m not okay/fine”. Also, we don’t like sharing our feeling at that very moment with everyone. That is a right thing to do but it’s a small burden you carry lying around people telling them you are fine when you’re not. The people around you will go around their business and will talk normally. They wouldn’t know the storm brewing inside you. They also wouldn’t be able to figure out that you’re crying from the inside.
Why would they?
You just said that you’re fine.
Instead of doing all this, why don’t you start to tell the people around you about what you feel. Yes, you don’t need to tell them exactly what the issue is. Just say the words “I am not okay. It’s something I’m dealing with which I cannot discuss”.
Speaking like this helps. First, the people around you are conscious of the fact that you’re not okay. Hence the way they speak will change. If you have a comfort friend, talk to him/her and get it out of your chest. Keeping the storm inside of you won’t stop anything. It is just a delay. This delay will result into a catastrophe someday!
If you cannot divulge any details, it’s fine.
But don’t lie when asked, “Are you okay?”