25 to 30 – The Age of Never Ending Tension or “Haseen Dard”

BEING 27 gives me perspective about Life in a term I’d define as “Haseen Dard“! 

For those who don’t know about me, I’m Lancelot Quadras. 27. An MBA in Finance. I worked for 3 years in the accounts team. I left that job for a fresh start in something I like i.e. Content writing.  I sleep well nowadays without worrying. I have few friends whom I care for and more than half of them are convinced I’m going to hell. Yes, the irony there is alarming. I like to read, write, watch tv shows, try new cuisines and a believer in the little moments that give meaning to life.

So why do I write about this “Haseen Dard” today?

It’s been 1 month since I’ve been either reading stories online on mental health, tension, depression, anxiety, stress, suicide a lot. The concept of “mental health” has been on the rise recently. Recently, on day 3 of the Mother Mary Novena, I heard the priest who in his sermon again mentioned about the stress level which impacts our fragile mind and body very badly. His story about a youth who crumbles under pressure brought me to realize one thing; Tension is everywhere. There is no specific date or time. But if there was, I would term the age group of 25-30 as the highest.

Here, we are;

  1. Working towards increasing our salary
  2. Looking for better career options side by side
  3. Not being able to give time to things we like, family and friends
  4. Regretting that we are missing out on so much.
  5. Losing friends quickly.
  6. Losing interest in things we like because we have no time.
  7. Planning for the future as our parents cannot work forever.
  8. Planning for a new house before getting married.
  9. Oh yes, finding a suitable partner.
  10. Probably finding love too!

These are just the first 10 thoughts that popped on my mind. I respect those who prioritize well and manage a balance between their work life and personal life. I try my best to give time to the people I care for. But there are just 24 hours in a day and sometimes I really become selfish and slump on the couch and rest. It’s a guilty pleasure but I also believe in “Me Time”.

What did I learn during this period?

  1. There is no time for waiting. If there’s an opportunity, then take a decision. It’s either a yes or a no. Don’t just let it pass so that you can regret it for the rest of your life.
  2. Not even google can help you when you type “how to be happy”. Only you can. The only behavior you can control is your own. Prioritize your relationships, give time to those you care about and lastly…Love yourself.
  3. Stop looking at love quotes and dreaming about him/her. Don’t just use the love calculator and blush all day. No one has time. If you really like someone, grow some courage, walk up to them and let them know what you feel. Trust me, there is no worse regret than the ones where we didn’t speak our heart out.

So far, this is what I’ve learnt and I know there’s a lot more left to learn. Until then, please do comment on what was the stage where you were just too tensed and how did you come out of it unscathed!

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186 thoughts on “25 to 30 – The Age of Never Ending Tension or “Haseen Dard””

  • Every age has its quirkiness – I still feel the 20s are a wonderful age… but still with today’s social media revolution – every age seems to be pressured!

    Reply
  • Lancelot, Wait till you reach your 40s :-P. On a serious note, times are changing and so are our needs. But most can be managed with knowledge & planning is important for many if not all.

    Reply
    • Huma, my mother says the same. She’s just like wait till another 10 years and see where the time runs away. And yes, the most important aspect is planning. Without a goal or a destination, we are just people walking in the dark looking for the light at the end of the tunnel.

      Reply
  • We all go through this different phases as we go through the different stages of age. Things around us change and the way we look at life changes. The perspective. Work, interest, responsibilities in life govern the way we navigate our life’s journey. The nature of work we do and does that matches our interest, you love content writing and you were into accounts, and you taken a decision to move ahead in life what we love do is steeping stone for something big to come our way. But again we need to build and nurture what we love to do…the focus and the drive is so vital in doing so.

    #MyFriendAlexa, #MakeupReads

    Reply
    • Hi Nihar. Yes, it is just that stages like these shape the way we think. It’s such experiences that help us grow as a person. Changing my job was by far the toughest decision I ever took. But it helped me understand what was more important in life and that is my happiness!

      Reply
  • Being at the exact same age-point I feel everything you’ve mentioned. It’s all too real 🙅🏻

    Reply
  • completely agree with you. I quit my job as Trade Marketing personnel three years ago and turned into content writing and design full time – it probably is the bravest and best decision to take. A lot of people did tell me I am going to hell, or showed sympathy as if NO WORK IN OFFICE = NO MONEY. They probably don’t know a stress free life without a dragon like boss and making a name for yourself where you work for yourself is a better choice.

    I loved reading what you learnt in this period – perfect learnings!

    Reply
    • Hi Tina, high five! I am glad you can relate with me. Indeed taking that decision got me a lot of people showing me the cons of shifting my career choice. That my salary will begin from scratch and I’ll be earning less. It will get tougher for me to find a suitable match and etc etc etc. Honestly, a good night’s sleep without stress is the first thing I wanted to worry about. There’s no point in doing something that adds no value to your life, what say?

      Reply
  • For years I have refused to work with my husband and help him out with his work. But right now I am standing on the verge of crossing that mental block and I completely get what you mean. One has to feel happy about what they do. Else it will get mechanical after a point of time and you will eventually burn out. A very useful post

    Reply
    • I know the mechanical aspect of the job very well. There is a point where it just doesn’t make sense anymore. I hope you get clear of the mental block soon. Glad you liked my thoughts. Cheers!

      Reply
  • Its the most important part of our life. Here, we need to take a lot of decisions for our upcoming life.

    Reply
    • I know right. With this age comes a lot of responsibilities and life decisions which need to be taken. It’s that stage where we leave our care free selves and plan for a better and secure tomorrow!

      Reply
  • 25-30 the best age really, as after that you need to put into practise all that you’ve learnt. Not fun at all!:)))

    Reply
    • Hi Mayuri, I still have 3 to go so will take your advice and have more fun. Learning is a long way and a never ending process for me. I’ll wish to get better in time to prosper!

      Reply
  • I’m in love with the way you’ve written this post. Subscribing to your blog now 🙂
    I had to leave my favorite process trainer job after marriage due to city change but I’m so happy to leave that job today. I feel content to help him with online software support and blog during my free time. I also love the way you said “Google can’t make you happy”, it is up to us which can change every situation.
    #vigorousreads #MyFriendAlexa

    Reply
    • Hi Varsha, I highly appreciate your words. Thank you so much. Yes, google can never make us happy. Maybe temporarily we can find happiness but to find it’s true meaning, all you need is to understand yourself and what makes you happy. Then life gets a bit easier.

      Reply
  • I am 52 now. When I was your age I too learned a lot of things. Initially I set off on a mad rush to grow in my career, but when I found myself working round the clock I decided to take it slow. And I do not regret the decision. Yes, you are right, it is the age when we have to prioritise things and learn quiet a bit. #MyFriendAlexa #JaiSReads

    Reply
    • Hi Jaya aka SmallFryBlogger (love the name). Loved your book (Eighty hours to save Karen) I appreciate your words a lot Sir. Indeed in your time or mine, priorities were always there and with time, we learnt how to deal with it. I’m glad you took the choice of slowing down. Working round the clock can hamper us in a lot more ways apart from health.

      Reply
  • It’s great to see you share all those learnings from your ‘Haseen dard’ phase of life. Looking back at my 20s, I have my share of learnings too… but then come any stage of life, there are pressures to handle as Jayanthi puts it.

    Reply
    • Hi Medha, pressure will always be there. No matter what the age group. For me, since I’m in this stage, I couldn’t help but share this dard with all! It’s indeed going to be there a lot more in store for me so I’ll wait for my time.

      Reply
  • I can so relate to you, being of the same age!

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    • Hi Deevyanka, High five! Welcome to the club. There is a lot to be learnt and I’m sure there will be more moments of dard and happiness together!!

      Reply
  • I turned 30 last year and I miss my golden period of 20-25…. 🙁

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    • Hi Agnivo, Well, we always like that golden period. I too miss that time. It’s amazing how when we look back, we wish if we could ever get that golden period again. But time never waits for anyone so we have to accept our fate! 😛

      Reply
  • Great article. I think that balance is the key. If you take care of your career, your friends, your family, your fitness, your health, your ‘me’ time and do a little bit of all of these things in a day or a week you can be happy.

    Reply
    • Hi Kalpana. Bang on! Finding the right balance is very important in life. If I can get through with removing time for everyone for a week including me, then it will make me more happy. Not that I don’t try, but it sometimes is impossible to give time to everyone. Getting exhausted is what happens to me at the end of the day!

      Reply
  • Your twitter is not embedded in your blog so although I shared it on twitter you won’t get to know that I did.

    Reply
  • Life is indeed stressful.. too many wishes, too little time and fierce competition everywhere. Its upto each one of us what we want to make of our life. Learning to accept things that are beyond our control, living each day to the fullest and being charge of our happiness i e doing things solely for ourselves at times is my mantra for happiness

    Reply
    • Hi Akshata. Yo summed up my thoughts in 3 lines. Most of the times we fail to understand that few things are not in our control. No matter what we do, we will miss meeting someone, talking to them, giving them time and being part of their happiness. But that’s just how it is. To make others happy, you too need to be happy and hence self love and appreciation is very important.

      Reply
  • Loving yourself is the first bad most important step.
    Congratulations on becoming a full time writer. All the best with myfriendalexa

    Reply
  • I thought this would be some fun, quirky post about heartbreaks. But its something worth pondering on. Yes most people make mistakes in their 20s which stay with them, nay haunt them for life. Pick those opportunities and stop waiting for love to arrive. Good tips Lance.

    Reply
    • Hi Nayantara. Indeed few years ago I would write about these things for sure. Now there are more moments where decisions are tough and prioritizing has gone up to a new level. And yes, I always make a choice when an opportunity arrives. It’s best to make a choice rather than regret of doing nothing. Glad you liked my thoughts.

      Reply
  • Straight from heart, light post!
    Every phase of life is important and worth living. It comes with its own pros and cons and I can see that you are enjoying your life. What else does one need? Dont change a bit and you will have a great experience that is living life to the fullest and not just existing!

    Reply
    • Hi Anagha, Thank you so much. I do make it a point to enjoy life and be around people that matter to me. It is very important to enjoy life as only when you are happy can you make others happy. What say?

      Reply
  • Nice post. It reminded me of a book, “All I really needed to know, I learnt in kindergarten.”. Your message is kind of like that. In todays fast paced life, only a very few have courage to stand apart and view the world flow by from side. Great going my friend.

    Reply
    • Hi Abhijit. Wow. I love the book name already. Must check it out. I highly appreciate your words. Thank you so much. It’s important to have your own view or else you just end up being part of a crowd and following the trend.

      Reply
  • I loved the way you articulated your learning. Believe me when I say that you are in the right age to enjoy your life because once you cross 35 then there is a whole new world and everything changes for good/or bad i don’t know :)Yet we all miss those times when we were in our twenties..:) It is so true that life is full of stress if you have to go out and work yet we have to find those little things for one’s own happiness and stay grounded. I am glad you found your calling and took it forward from there. Wish you luck !!

    Reply
    • Hi SK, thank you so much for your kind words. I got your advice. I will ensure that i enjoy time while it lasts.The age group after this will bring new challenges for sure. As far as my calling, I’m glad I took this call seriously. Hoping to make a better impact this time.

      Reply
  • 25-30 is Age of actual Adults. Remains of teenage fun and childhood pastime feels delusional. Real work is acknowledged. Real Emotions are felt. Real problems are dealt. Real Success is determined. Excitement of Responsibilities. Independence of Earning. Values privileges. Current holder of ‘society’. And lastly, either successful to resemble or become philosophical to explain failure.

    Reply
  • There’s always a room to learn regardless of age. Love is not a calculator..thats a wonderful way to express . Nice read 🙂

    Reply
  • I’m glad you realized early on that the career was not for you and made the switch to something that leaves you more relaxed and fulfilled. Though I think the learnings that you have listed resonate at any age. I am past the “haseen dard” phase as you have termed it, yet I think I need to remind myself of these 10 points every day

    Reply
    • Hi Mahak, Yes that realization was enough for me to understand I need to fight for what I like and what is right. And agreed, this dard will be there for all my life with different highs and lows!!

      Reply
  • I feel you man because I am exactly in that age bracket. Your post is now making me think of a post of my own where I can talk about the age of the “late” 20s where you seem to be moving just not forward!

    Reply
    • Hey Suchita, high five! Welcome to the club. It’s just that I didn’t even take time to write all this. The thoughts kept flowing like the dard this is. Anyways, haseen dard hai. Jhelna toh padega hi!

      Reply
  • I agree to the sentence that Google will not gurantee you happiness. It is only we who can mend ways to be happy.

    Reply
  • So long Lance! I see you’ve only gotten better at it!
    Damn this age 😀 I can totally relate with you and yes it does sound good on paper, but really hard to make decisions. However, yes they are essential!
    Anyhow, all the best 🙂

    Reply
  • just love this post. spot on Haseen dard of 27 and 28th year of life.

    Reply
  • My friend, you’re in the best stage of your life where responsibilities haven’t trickled in and the josh to accomplish what you want is at its zenith.Gosh! I miss my 20s. Enjoy it as much as you can. To be honest, every age brings with it, its own set of issues which we must all be savvy enough to handle. Loved reading your post. Cheers!

    Reply
    • Hi Dipali, My mother says the same thing. She’s like be ready for the next 5 years after 30 and you’ll know all kinds of dard! I didn’t know if that was motivation or a warning but she said it point blank! Anyway, I know this stage is something I need to enjoy and I will!

      Reply
  • Be it the age 25-30 or beyond that…..Stress is always there. You are right in shortlisting them here.

    Reply
  • Loved your title – Haseen dard. Well, not to scare you but once you are in your 30s, all you are left with is dard! LOL! Enjoy the haseen as much as you can! 🙂

    Reply
    • Hi Anshu, Yes, I have been given a very good sitting down lecture by Maa first. She laughed and said, wait for the next set of 5 years and you’ll remember me even more!! I’m enjoying this pain as long as i can!

      Reply
  • How very interesting. To stop looking at Love quotes does help.Best wishes with your work

    Reply
  • Every age has it’s fun and quirkiness. Like the joy of late thirties. A decade later quirkiness might stay however fun is matter of personal ‘treasure’. Nice post.

    Reply
  • very honest and direct from the heart post. I loved reading the last three points the most, your learnings and could not agree more. Happiness is all around, in the little things, we need to see wisely and create our own happy world. Its all about your attitude towards life and yourself. Great post overall.

    Reply
    • Hi Vartika, I am glad you liked my views. The little things matter to me a lot. It’s those moments that define what you think about life and the people that make it special for you.

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  • Great! Enjoy your life. That’s why we all are here 😉 Keep going 🙂

    Reply
  • You are old enough to be my son and I’d seriously advise you to go back to your career in Finance and pursue writing as a hobby. Writing never pays and no matter how romantic an artist in a garret sounds, poverty is not the stimulus to romance.

    Reply
  • Live life fully thats what i understood from your blog!! If i would have realized all these beautiful things at that age probably i would love stay in that age forever !!

    Reply
    • Hi Neha. This is indeed what I try to do. Enjoy every moment, be happy for the little things in life and happiness will never leave you!

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  • Age is as u feel. I can feel like a 50year old at 20. And vice-versa. And believe it or not, u keep on taking decisions. Some are good some bad which we realise much later. So it’s better to chill n enjoy life

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    • Hey there, rightly said!Age is indeed just a number. You can be like a 20 year old even at 50 and hence it’s the energy we bring in this life which will define our existence!

      Reply
  • This is so true. I am in that age range and I can bet on it that managing all these points is so tough. Especially the work life balance when you are a beginner in the job scenario. And all these points- ditto thoughts. We need to take decisions when an opportunity presents itself or else we shall lose out. 🙂

    Reply
    • Hi Pratikshya, high five! We are in the same boat!
      Agreed that to find the right balance is very important. I wish to do it soon and always maintain it!

      Reply
  • every age has its ups and downs. 20 to 30 was a freebird. 30 to 40 a refugee, and now i am 41.. it’s getting tougher on the note.. its like mental asylum with tensions

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  • I agree with your views. Getting older gracefully is the one I wish for.

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  • Every decade has its plus and minus…..the first two were a cake walk..the 20’s disappeared in mothering and nurturing, the 30’s were pretty stable and then came the mother of all stress; my husband passed away when i touched 40.Dunno what life has in store for us so I would suggest live and enjoy each moment as it comes.God Bless!
    #wordsmithkaurreads

    Reply
    • Hey there, I’m sorry for your loss!
      Indeed life brings in a lot of such twists and turns for us. It’s how we pass through the journey which will make us understand the type of person we are!

      Reply
  • Oh I wish I could go back to this age. Its the perfect age to have fun and enjoy life. Every phase brings along lessons bI just turned 40 and trust me, its a completely different feeling.

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    • Hi Deepa, yes this is a perfect age where we can explore many options and find our own happiness. Looking forward to what life has in store for me.

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  • All the stress that you go through will make you stronger, I don’t wanna preach you.. but now that I am older and supposedly ‘wiser’ I would like to tell you – break free.. come out of your comfort zone. Align your thoughts with actions. Believe in yourself.😊

    Reply
    • Hi Priya. I hear you. Probably this is the time when I can break my comfort zone and face the world to understand what’s good for me. Cheers. Yes, I will believe in myself!

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  • Every age has its ups and downs.And, I completely agree.No point in slogging like a donkey at work when I cant be happy.I quit my corporate job to spend time with my family!

    Reply
  • Every phase brings with it bitter-sweet memories. Enjoy it while it lasts while we enjoy your write ups. Well written 😁

    Reply
  • Ha ha ha..Very Amusing. Haseen Dard…Loved it. Well for a spirited soul, age is just a number. Every age has its own Haseen dards….Its all about making “Me Time” to live those moments to the fullest You rightly said.

    Reply
    • Hi Tina, Yes, this is indeed a dard which we all go through irrespective the age group! But yes, happiness comes in many forms and it is our job to find out whats the best for us.

      Reply
  • Every age has its own challenges. In fact in my thirties and forties I had no time to feel depressed. Now I have time to ponder on so many things and regret over what i could not do. I struggle to keep myself in positive frame of mind.

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    • Hi Vandana, we all have our own demons to face! If you hear from me then you’ve made it so far and still standing! That’s more reason for me to respect you! Cheers to your journey and I’m sure you’ll get better with age!

      Reply
  • Haha, Sorry. Loved Deepa’s comment before mine.

    I have no clue which is the toughest, I think for me before 25 was definitely simpler. But, I am in enjoying, cribbing, stressed and learning to cope at each phase.. Did you know that there are a number of famous artists who died at 27(all trivia is because of my husband), that there is actually something called the 27 club? Look it up! So you might be right that there is more stress at that age..

    Namratha from #firstgreenstep

    Reply
    • Hey there. Yes, I am very well informed about the 27 club! It’s a shame we lost such beautiful creative people to this age. But it’s an irony too! Why 27 only?

      Reply
  • The conversation on your post is on fire, Lance 😛

    There is some great advice here. I would only want to add that whenever the people around you think you are going to hell, take it as a sign that you are doing great and going in the right direction.

    That’s my mantra, anyway.

    Reply
  • 100% true. Balancing your personal life with work life is a must. After all, all the work we and earn is for the family and personal life, is n’t it?

    Reply
  • Loved the write.. specially the bit about finding happiness on google.. You can get everything there but happiness

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    • Hi Anisha, yes nowadays we all search everything on google. It’s not possible to find all the answers and hence we must find our own way!

      Reply
  • The 20s is a very interesting phase where one has lots of possibilities in life. Learn something new without having to save up for your kid’s school fee. Go on that trip without having to plan for the family. Go have that beer without remorse or regret (or fear of repercussions :P) If you are planning to get married by 30, then take one year out and invest it on you. The 30s will change you. I won’t say it’ll be bad, but it’ll be different. Good luck.

    Reply
    • Hi Varad, thanks for the heads up! I know that I have such options which I can do now but not in the later future. Indeed life sure can change after marriage but until then let’s see how life revolves!

      Reply
  • Every age has its own plus and minus. Staying happy is in our hands. Google cannot answer that. We have to find our secret recipe.
    #MothersGurukulreads #MyFriendAlexa

    Reply
    • Hey there, Yes my secret recipe is mine and everyone has their own! We must find our own secrets as soon as possible. That will definitely help us stay happy!

      Reply
  • I completely agree with your post. This is the age when we try to improve in career, might have less time for family and hobbies.

    Reply
  • If you enjoy what you do that’s the key. You have expressed really well! Great post.

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  • I think most of us reminisce about the golden days of previous decade no matter what age we are in!

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    • Hi Lavanya, Yes we always end up doing it. Few years ago I used to think how good my school and college days were! I guess as humans we just adore our past more after we have crossed it.

      Reply
  • That’s a beautiful post about life and it’s learning. Took me to my 20s when the dreams were big and the zeal to get them even bigger.

    Reply
  • You are a brave person indeed. and I think you had taken that step which many of us dream but wouln’t have enough dare to do that. it is always great to follow your passion. the path is not easy but you will get the things in life, which you really want. enjoyed reading your post.

    Reply
    • Hi Surbhi, I’m so happy that you appreciate my decision. I know what I went through while taking that decision but am happy I took it. It’s been a bit challenging but has been enjoyable too!

      Reply
  • Every age comes with its share of stress, first its career then marriage and then kids. Googling “How to be happy’ would probably be the saddest thing to do.
    If you’re happy with what you’re doing I’m sure you’ll rock hell too, that is if you go there.

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    • Hi Varsh, bang on!You’ll do well when you are happy. Yes, there is a lot of stress but that’s how life runs! It’s just how we treat every situation and come out of it with a smile on our faces!

      Reply
  • I couldn’t agree more about 25-30 being quite a stressful age, maybe even 30-35. Working and paying bills, coming home and being too tired to do anything else, and being a working mother the added guilt/stress of not giving the li’l one enough time, but I keep reminding myself – “u gotta do what u gotta do” and move on.

    Reply
    • Hey there. I so feel for you already! I have accepted it that I cannot make everyone happy. It will come at an expense where I’ll lose myself. You being a working mother and still managing everything is amazing and I salute you for it. Cheers to you!

      Reply
  • I think a trend has been set here and we are blindly following them. This age of 25-30 can be made more nice if we realize that we are getting sucked into a situation where we need to live from paycheck to paycheck. We can help the younger generation to change this pattern of running behind white collar jobs, money and marriage.

    Reply
    • Hi Ranjini, I’m glad you liked my thoughts. Yes, the younger generation can learn to do things they like and maker a profession out of it. This does not mean I am against the white collared jobs. But i feel that its not everyone’s cup of tea!

      Reply
  • very interesting and well defined write up… haseen dard… agree with each and every point that you mentioned…

    Reply
  • Hey Lance, I agree with you wholeheartedly . I did the same, followed my passion , quit the World bank project to learn Journalism. Doing what we like most is much more important than Money. All the best for your chosen career. #MyFriendAlexa #SujatawdeReads

    Reply
    • Hi Sujata ji, it’s an honor you like my post and thoughts. I’m glad you’re doing what you like and I must say you’re doing fine! Cheers to your future journey and happiness!

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  • Oh you r in a beautiful phase of life. Enjoy it !! Its a different game all together once u r hooked buddy.

    Reply
  • Every age group has it’s own set of responsibilities and tensions, Lancelot. The only mantra is, keep aside all the worries, engage yourself in the best possible way and never let yourself down in your own eyes.

    Reply
    • Hi Rashmi, satya vachan!
      Try your best, don’t overburden yourself with the negatives, count your blessings always and life will be a joyous ride!

      Reply
  • Life is bed of roses along with the thorns. When I was 20 , 25 was the age I had all positive attitude about . when i reached 25.. 30 years was something I was looking upto. I am 34 now 😀 and I still hope life will get better soon 😀 😀

    Reply
    • Hey there. Yes, life has positives and negatives. It’s a journey with many twists and turns! I just want the signboard to mention the level of difficulty. It’s helpful to know how much trouble you’re in so you can be prepared right?

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  • Kudos to you for writing this, Since I’m in my 230’s I believe this haseen dard extends even in 30’s , lol. Its a time that we realise small moments that give us true happiness.

    Reply
    • Hi Jhilmil, I’m glad you liked my thoughts! And yes, I’ve realized this dard won’t leave my life soon. Finding happiness in the “little things” is indeed important. I keep doing that.

      Reply
  • I am in the same boat, have so much to do and yet unable to decide. Hoping things would be clear soon. Loved reading your thoughts! 🙂

    Reply
  • I can’t pin point which stage of life or age was toughest. As kid I used to cry for ranks, friends. I grew up to bag a job, new life, new city, new languages, and not to forget the marriage. We are stressed all the time. But also need ME time and must have it.

    Reply
    • I can pinpoint what’s tough for me now. Maybe I won’t be able to do it in few years time. But yes, with age stress keeps increasing. Trying to keep that in check!

      Reply
  • At every age…every year…every month…every day…yesterday seems a piece of cake…that’s life and take it how it comes…enjoyy. Nice post.
    #MyFriendAlexa #ContemplationOfaJoker #Jokerophilia

    Reply
    • Hi Manas. Well put!
      This is exactly like a test we take and realize later how easy it indeed was and why didn’t we try new ways!
      Cheers to your thinking!

      Reply
  • When I was in this age range, I was having a lot on my plate. Ph D thesis, and wedding!!! Two of the shocks people consider difficult to come out of !!!!So I can Say it was quite stressful time. But I never searched for “how To Be happy” Somehow, it is in me already, I know My happiness is my business and I make it a priority.
    #mannreads.

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    • Hi Mann. If only people thought that way, the world would be a better place to live in. Kudos to you on handling it very well. I wish to do the same!

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  • Some psychological facts presented in a logical way.

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  • I have crossed that age years back but love to read how you have articulated it. Those points so really nice to read.

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  • Enjoy your 20s mine is coming to an end so I pray that time moves slowly.
    #sindhureads #myfriendalexa

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  • To start with, love the title Haseen Dard. All the points you mentioned are relatable. As you said no one has time, I totally agree to that point. And even Google can’t answer how to be happy. It is totally upon you. Great post.

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    • Hi Paresh, I’m glad you found this post relatable. The title came up as a mere thought which made me laugh too. Yes, no one has time and it’s high time we accept that or else we will complicate things unnecessarily.

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  • I am glad you followed your heart and here you are. “Haseen Dard” is a haseen phrase. Loved it, and believe me dard is there at all ages, it is all up to you to convert the dard into khushi. Great post!

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    • Hey there. Very rightly said. Dard hai toh every place mein. It’s our thinking which can change it into happiness! For now, I’m enjoying this phase!

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  • 25-30 you say – I think I was the happiest back then. I had a job I loved. I had bank balance enough to help my parents while preparing for my marriage. I had made few investments which were success. I was enjoying the courtship with my fiance (now my hubby). I was also preparing for my MBA which I completed after my marriage. I became a mother and it was an awesome feeling. I relocated to a beautiful place and experienced the freedom of running a household all by myself. It all happened in those five years.

    But That doesnt mean I am not happy now. I am but I have more responsibilities with my kids growing. I have to not only think about my future but I have to also make my kids capable enough to control their future.

    So dear Lancelot, I truly understand and feel what you have written here but do Love this phase of yours because how much ever ‘dard’ it gives you… remember it is ‘Haseen’ beyond comparison. All the best.

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    • Hi Preeti, your life seems like the ideal life which people dream of. For that I salute you. You’ve made an amazing life for yourself and I’m glad you wrote to me. About more responsibilities… my mother keeps saying they’ll increase in time. Also, I’m thankful for your wishes. Yes, I know this is the best phase and I have a lot more dard to come but until then, let me enjoy this, right>

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  • Seeing your happy smiling face makes me happy . I liked your funda of haseen dard . Good learnings .

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  • Important points here! We tend to take our friends, relations and everything under the sun except money for granted. Listening to our heart is something that we should never stop doing.

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  • When I look back now as I have crossed the big ’30’, 20s was phase of learning and making mistakes, lots of them because of the thinking ‘log kya sochenge’. I had known what depression is and came out with a new lesson of ‘self love’ which no one teaches us (apparently!)
    True, google can teach us how to tie a tie but not to be happy and that regret part, quite true.

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    • Hi Poonam,
      Very rightly said. This phase is to understand where you stand and what you want to do. Also, self love is something that is really not taught. How good the world would be if we taught each other how important self love is. I’m glad you got through with it and came out well … a better person!

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  • You have put your thoughts so well.. and rightly said the dard is “Haseen” … trust me, this is one of your best phases in life where you can make many changes and decisions… and a decade later you will surely cherish this period 🙂

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    • Hey there. I know! My mother’s already like “Go and roam,son. Later you won’t have options that you have now so easily”. I’m like “Maa, are you motivating me or scaring me”. She hasn’t answered it yet! But yes, I’ll enjoy this phase how much ever I can like the other future stages!

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  • I really believe “me time” is very important. We must make time to introspect and meditate or do something just for ourselves
    #MyFriendAlexa #literarylehareads

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    • Hi Leha. The “me time” is really important. It does not have to sound selfish but sometimes you need some time to yourself. You need to learn that you cannot make everyone happy!

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  • Wish I had come across this post 25 years back!

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    • Hey there. You just made me smile!
      You have a lot more experiences to share on this I must say!
      Please do write on it if possible!
      Cheers!

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  • Loved this one!

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  • #MyFriendAlexa #DelhibloggerReads I am totally agree with you, It is a transition period of life which decides the future. great article.

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  • If I were your mother I’d say take a proper job as writing never really pays.

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    • Hey there, I definitely respect your opinion!
      You’re not alone here. My mother thinks the same.
      I like her concern like i appreciate yours.
      It’s only that I do not want to end up like every other person who does something they don’t like.
      And Btw, you’d be happy to know, I do have a full time job! 🙂

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  • Hazaron khwahishein aisi ki har khwahish pe dum nikle…. Each age has its own highs and lows. One must never stop listening to one’s instincts.

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  • We all go through this phase once in a life. And I’m also going through the phase right now with so many things going in my life. It’s not easy to overcome it. #myfriendalexa #dewreads

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    • Hi Bushra, we all have certain issues we go through at every stage of life. Keep smiling as this too shall pass! It’s not easy to overcome but it’s not impossible too.

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  • this is so true, nice post & it was nice reading it

    #MyFriendAlexa
    #simireads
    #simiwrites

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    • Agreed. they stay silent and loose the battle. Sometime that is needed as one person has to stay calm and think of the argument in a calm and sensible way!

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  • so well explained yes at that phase of life is never easy… all is abt hard work & all

    #MyFriendAlexa
    #simireads
    #simiwrites

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  • Every dard has it’s own story and inportantance. Really enjoyed reading.

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  • I really wish someone wrote this post when I was in the Haseen Dard phase. One stepped into 40s and looked back to find that so many friends and precious moments had been left behind only because one was chasing an empty dream. Thank you for bringing this introspective post to us. #MyFriendAlexa #MayuraReads

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    • I wish that too. I wrote this post for the ones who are about to reach this phase so they understand what’s in store for them. Also, chasing empty dreams indeed makes you lose track of what you really want in life. I’m glad to bring any kind of introspection to you’ll with my words!

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  • Oh man.. I hardly even remember those years now… So much goes by in life during the thirties 🙂

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  • My life changed radically in my 20s and right now in my 30s I am trying to be the best version of myself. I am a better judge of situations and more radical towards my approach. My 20s were the years of learning for me. I am using my 30s to use those learnings. The biggest learning of all is “letting go”. I felt very positive after reading this article. Will be definitely coming back for more. #myfriendalexa #surreads #blogchatter

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    • Reading the comments for this post, the only thing which stayed common is that we learn as we age and understand what we could have done better in our growing years. And yes “letting go” is something I’m slowly accepting as the days go by!

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