On this Sunday morning, I woke up to a dream where I did something which was surprising. I don’t remember the backdrop or even the people in it. All I remember is fighting with one of my friends. There are some people in the background whose faces I fail to recollect now. We are arguing over something very petty but things get heated. While fighting he reminds me of something bad I did earlier. That hurts! I too can do the same and dig up some dirt of his past and put it up on display in front of everyone. But…. I don’t.
Why did I not do that?
This is the thought I woke up to. There are so many ways I could have humiliated him. There were so many things I could have told to make him shut his mouth and sulk in one corner. There was a lot I could do. But I didn’t. There is just one answer for it. The answer is “I chose to look at the argument more than my anger”.
Yes, my near and dear ones know that I get angry very quickly. A slightest hint of conflict makes me uncomfortable. I don’t think positively and things don’t go right. But recently I’ve begun doing a simple task… “Listening”.
Yes, please try this. 95% of your conflicts and anger issues and even over thinking ends the minute you begin to listen. There are so many moments where just because I waited patiently and listened, everything fell into place without any negativity.
What is this “Listening” ?
The listening here is to understand the situation and then find the solution. You don’t have to find something hurtful to say back always. Just because you know you can;
- Win the argument
- You have the gun
- You have the ace in the pack
That you will have to use it. Sometimes being silent and thinking calmly can avoid a catastrophe. Now mind you, I’m not talking about every situation. The situation here is about a normal or petty argument that elevates to a heated argument. Usually it can end well when at least one party thinks calmly. If not, then just because of a petty argument turning wild, relationships crack, friendships break and you become a wreck on a wreck.
I adore some people in my life during my college years. When in an argument I spoke some hurtful things, they kept silent until I was done barking. Once I turned silent, they’d explain themselves. It made sense to me and I’d apologize to them. Then I would feel shitty about how I treated them.
I have tried to be a better person since them and always think about the other person and their situation before drawing a conclusion. It’s a work in progress but I’m sure to be a better person someday!
I am taking my Alexa rank to the next level with Blogchatter. Do follow the hashtag #WritingsByLancelot and #ReadWithLancelot to be part of my journey.