I had been for the Sunday mass and the priest happened to talk about anger and illness. One line stood out in that sermon; “What gives you strength to reduce the anger?” That’s how a thought lingered on my mind and hence I’m sharing it with you guys.

It’s July 2018. Time is running faster than Usain Bolt ever could. I can just remember thinking about my new year’s resolution like it was just a week ago. Anyway, living in Mumbai, the pace of life is on full acceleration. People are hustling and bustling from north to south just to make ends meet. I have noticed something else that has been accelerating along with our fast paced life. That element is Anger!

Yes, our understanding level has been so fragile lately that everyone around us takes a lot of effort to stay happy but can get angry on the drop of a hat. There can be many reasons and possibilities which can justify this anger. But instead of letting it out in a dignified way, anger has a way of turning you into a savage who is dressed up well and is literate enough to use cuss words in different languages.

Some times when an event takes place, the outcome gives us pain and hurt, we react and the outburst can be civil or not. There is also an event when you just get angry for no reason or for a reason which is not worth being angry about.

How do you tackle that situation?

How do you get out of that negative zone?

What gives you strength to not be angry and think of it in a calm mind?

Let me tell you what I do:

I get angry very quickly. If some event had to take place, I’d think of how to get payback. How I would make them pay and one day they’d wish that I would forgive them. I’d put myself as a hero who is in pain and depict them as villains who have wronged me.

But then, it’s a habit I have always followed. I try thinking from the other’s perspective and also how a third party would react to this. Almost 90% of the times, I come out of my anger phase very quickly. I laugh on the stupid thoughts I had few moments ago. I actually realize that had I gone ahead and given those people a piece of my mind, the relation would develop a crack. I thank the lord and the 1% of good consciousness in me that allowed me to think before jumping.

Here’s what I do in such situations. What do you do in situations like these? What gives you strength to not be angry?

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How are you? 

I am okay/fine.

This is the most fake conversation you are bound to have many times during your lifetime. Yes, think about it. How many times have you used this phrase without speaking the truth? We are stressed, tired, irritated, angry, disappointed but we will say that we are fine.

 

Why do we lie?

Firstly the main reason for doing this is because we want to dodge the next conversation that will happen the moment we say “I’m not okay/fine”. Also, we don’t like sharing our feeling at that very moment with everyone. That is a right thing to do but it’s a small burden you carry lying around people telling them you are fine when you’re not. The people around you will go around their business and will talk normally. They wouldn’t know the storm brewing inside you. They also wouldn’t be able to figure out that you’re crying from the inside.

 

Why would they?

You just said that you’re fine.

Instead of doing all this, why don’t you start to tell the people around you about what you feel. Yes, you don’t need to tell them exactly what the issue is. Just say the words “I am not okay. It’s something I’m dealing with which I cannot discuss”.

Speaking like this helps. First, the people around you are conscious of the fact that you’re not okay. Hence the way they speak will change. If you have a comfort friend, talk to him/her and get it out of your chest. Keeping the storm inside of you won’t stop anything. It is just a delay. This delay will result into a catastrophe someday!

If you cannot divulge any details, it’s fine.

But don’t lie when asked, “Are you okay?”

Okay?

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I like winning. I’m also sure you all too love that feeling.

But what if winning gets tougher?

I mean to say what if life gives you such an opponent, that it’s almost impossible to win?

Let me tell you who the opponent is; YOU!

Firstly, we all like to strive, to make it big, to push harder until victory is ours. But then we often end up losing.

By losing I mean we start keeping higher and unrealistic expectations ourselves. And by doing that we put so much pressure that performing well is not possible.

Why put ourselves through such torture?

We can always smile on our little achievements and say “It’s okay” when we falter. Winning from yourself is easy and you can do that by simply understanding that you are human.

You are bound to fall and bound to rise up.

Although it sounds cliched, but telling yourself that you can do it and that everything is possible does give you more strength to face the situation.

Yes, keeping realistic expectations and completing them gives you a morale booster which in turn helps you to get better.

I am an avid follower of that myself and look at myself as a person wanting to get better with each day.

#Indispire edition 208 – Winning from yourself.

CLICK HERE for more entries from this week’s theme.

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